Relational Chemistry
by Floricity
Summary: At some point, you're gonna have to break your own rose-tinted glasses and face the facts: 1) life has no guaranteed happy ending, 2) no one will save you from your problems and 3) maybe that person you made out with during Fear Pong isn't prince charming but hey, he's not a total dick and that's close enough for you.
1. a change is gonna come

_Hi, I don't post fanfiction often but here's some Kingdom Hearts fanfiction since the new game is coming out next year. woop~_

 _Synopsis: At some point, you're gonna have to break your own rose-tinted glasses and face the facts: 1) life has no guaranteed happy ending, 2) no one will save you from your problems and 3) maybe that person you made out with during Fear Pong isn't prince charming but hey, he's not a total dick and that's close enough for you._

 _TW: mentions of past/present child abuse, mentions of rape, mentions of self-harm/suicide, murder, LGBT+ relationships/characters_

 _Main pairings: Axel/Roxas, Riku/Sora_

 _ **Second Week of July 2018**_

Unsurprisingly, everything started to change when the first body was found and for lack of a better phrase, it was strange as fuck. Of course, it was 'strange as fuck' though, it's not every day you wake up to your local news channel telling you that a dead body was thoughtlessly discarded on the playground of your old elementary school, 20 feet away from the merry-go-round. The merry-go-round you had your first kiss in, but that's neither he or there. It's also not every day a sixteen-year-old boy on summer vacation is wide awake at 7am, but sometimes you got to go with the flow. Which is what Roxas did when he found himself in his living room, sitting next to his mother, Sybil Ambrose, as she held her hand over her mouth, head shaking in disbelief.

"Awful. Just awful." She repeatedly whispered, her southern accent coming through at such a distressing event. Hollow Bastion Access News replayed the flashy graphics again, signaling that once more coverage on such a 'shocking development' was about to play. Sybil moved her hand to pull her son closer, silently petting the blond hair, her dark skin contrasted against bright hue. Her soprano voice hummed along with the news theme as she grabbed the remote to turn the subtitles on. Roxas fixed his posture, ready to listen to the details a second time around, in case he had missed anything.

"And we're back with Hollow Bastion Access News in the morning." The reporter shuffled his papers, taking on a solemn expression and leaning forward on his elbows. "Unfortunately, we have no new updates on the situation down at Evergreen Elementary Academy. But, for those who missed our earlier coverage, a body has been found on the playground outside of the school building. At this moment, the police have not identified the deceased and the area has been blocked off from the general public. Evergreen Summer Camp has been cancelled for the rest of the summer, and all parents will be given a refund. We will now go to Trisha Lloyd down at the school. Trisha?" The screen cut to raven haired woman of fair skin dressed in a pantsuit obviously too hot for the July heat. She held the microphone close to her mouth as she wiped away a bead of sweat from her forehead.

"Thank you, Junsu. I'm here live at Evergreen Elementary Academy's playground " Like the last reporter, her smile faded after the obligatory salutations. She began walking up to crime scene tape, the image of a police van obscuring the viewers line of sight from any gore.

"It's almost 7:30, and we have yet to gain any information from the police on this concerning manner. All we know is the body was found here, at Evergreen Elementary Academy by a couple of local teenagers earlier this morning, and the HBPD will release a statement later on today. For now, let's check in with the two who found the body." The cameraman moved with Trisha, following her as she made her way over to two teenagers sitting on a curb. Blue eyes widened, as the sixteen-year-old recognized his classmates, Seifer and Hayner.

"Mom turn it up." The blond whispered, shocked to see the two together. Sybil nodded, eyes fixated as she increased the volume. Hayner was Roxas' best friend since pre-school, seeing him on television for such thing concerned her as much as her son, she saw the boy as her own child. Both looked on as Trisha bent down to their level, a look of sympathy on the two boys wrapped in a shock blanket.

"Can you go over the events that led up to you discovering such a horrific sight?" Seifer nodded and moved forward.

"Uh yeah. In short, we went out for a walk this morning because we both couldn't sleep. So, we took the trail that lead back here and Hayner said somethin felt off to 'im so we went over to the swings to sit and chill for a bit."

"Th-That's when we looked over and saw the body." Seifer nodded in agreement. "I thought it was just someone homeless havin a sleep in the park, ya know? But then we got closer and they weren't sleepin, they just…they…they looked off. There was blood an…and I'm sorry. I can't." Hayner trailed off in his sentence, breath hitching as he began sniffling. Trisha put an empathetic hand on his shoulder and left the two, the camera moving along with her.

"As you can see, these two poor souls are both shocked at what they saw. Hopefully, we'll have more on this at a later date. Back to you Junsu."

Sybil wiped tears away and held her son tighter. Roxas sighed, not only was he concerned about his best friend but, he was out of a job now with the summer camp cancelled. His only source of income…besides his parents' allowance. He switched the channel to cartoons, trying to get the thought of a dead body and the loss of his car fund out of his head. Colorful graphics filled his vision as he sat there, still in his t-shirt and boxers, waiting for his mom to finish up breakfast. Now with new free time, he didn't know how he was gonna spend the rest of the summer besides wasting away on the couch. That summer camp gig paid him 230 dollars a week and without that, he can kiss his new car goodbye. He sighed again, an action that's quickly become a habit for him lately. He's not sure when he began sighing non-stop, but lately these days his life has felt off.

Out of place.

Wrong.

As if it's not his life to live.

The reason is always on the tip of his tongue, but he can never grasp it. Never seeming to articulate what's happening and why. He sighed again. And once more for good measure, making sure any essence of anxiety had left his body. It was reaching 9a now. He smelled waffles and egg whites and turned off the television.

After breakfast, he would go see Hayner.

—

 _ **Third Week of August 2018**_

At 3p on a Tuesday, Roxas finally saw his brother. Sora had been away for some swim team summer training camp on Destiny Islands off the coast from Hollow Bastion. He pulled up to the ferry station in his dad's silver Mercedes, honking the horn once he saw a familiar brunet.

"Get in loser, we're going shopping!" The blond exclaimed as he rolled down the window. He popped the trunk as his twin flipped him off and threw his luggage inside. Sora opened the passenger door before pausing.

"Hold on, I gotta do something first." Roxas rolled his eyes but nodded, looking on as Sora ran over to a silver haired swim team member, Riku. Sora smiled and ran up to his best friend, offering him his hands. Riku slapped both, laughing as he enveloped Sora in a hug.

"We chillin tomorrow, or what?" Riku made like he was contemplating the proposal, looking off into the distance and shaking his head.

"I can't think of anything better to do, so I guess I'm stuck with your dumbass." For the second time that day, Sora gave someone the bird. The remaining conversation between the two took place as Sora walked Riku to his car, both of them reminiscing about their swim camp adventures, enjoying the inside jokes they had made with the rest of their friends. Both finalized their plans for the remaining week of their summer vacation, choosing to spend the rest of their summery days with each other. As they reached Riku's car, Sora lingered a bit, not wanting to waste a second with the silver teen. Biting his lip, he watched as his best friend put the key in the ignition, starting his car. Riku rolled down the window, giving a smirk.

"See ya tomorrow, So." Sora internally combusted. His friend was so. Fucking. Cool. He ran back to the car, out breath and overheated from the August sun.

"God. Y'all are so annoying to watch." Roxas berated him for taking too long fanboying over the silver haired teen. "That's not even his real hair, he dyes it silver to look cool!" He commented, as they left the parking lot, making their way down to main street.

"Who cares? It's cool and you know it's cool. Silver looks good on him, you ass." Sora retorted, crossing his arms and looking out the window. His eyebrows furrowed and he sat up again. "Plus, you…you dye your hair too? You're just being a dick." Roxas rolled his eyes, slowing down for a stop sign.

"Blond. I dye my hair blond. It's more natural than silver." The car stopped running as Roxas parked it in their drive way. Getting out of the Mercedes, the third offensive hand gesture was shown today. "Anyway, who cares about Riku?" Sora murmured an 'I do' underneath his breath as Roxas continued. "You aren't going to believe what happened while you were gone the past two months, it's fucking cra-"

"Language." The two boys looked into the garage after hearing a voice that wasn't their own. Their father, Junsu Kim, was sitting at his electric kiln.

"Hey dad" The two said in unison, Junsu looked up and nodded at his two sons.

"Hello, Sora. Your mother missed you very much." Sora gave a look that said 'of course she did, I'm her favorite son'. "Roxas, be delicate when telling Sora the 'crazy stuff' that happened while he was away. It's nothing to make light of". Roxas gave his agreement, walking into the house where he was greeted with smell of his mother's kimchi.

Both stomachs growled.

—

"Wait. What? Are you serious? You're not serious?" Sora's blue eyes widened in shock at Roxas' words. The twins had made their way to Sora's room after a small chat with their mother, and a swipe of some kimchi. Roxas laid on his brothers bed, his head dangling off the end, while Sora unpacked his things. The blond sat up and handed his brother his phone, as if to tell him to google it if he was that much in disbelief. Quickly, Sora typed into the Safari search bar, 'Evergreen Elementary Academy' wanting proof of his twin's words. Sure enough, the latest in news was the truth.

A dead body had been found on the playground of his elementary school.

"Dude that's so fucked up. Do they know who did it yet?" Roxas shook his head. He had heard all of the news during the last month. The only sure thing that was announced from the Hollow Bastion Police Department was that the deceased was a victim of homicide. The rest was being kept under wraps, in the hopes that no panic would come to the town. However, with their father being the popular news reporter of Hollow Bastion Access News, the Kim-Ambrose family was one of the first to gain information about the case.

"The only thing we know is that it was a murder, and it may have happened in the elementary building." Roxas gossiped to his brother and Sora scrolled through his Twitter timeline, catching up on all that he missed; Destiny Islands were notorious for their shoddy Wi-Fi connection.

"Maybe it was a drug deal gone wrong? I know some of Seifer's friends hang out there." Roxas shook his blond head again. "Okay then, maybe it was some homeless guy who just got too overheated and died?"

"No Sor, it couldn't have been."

"Why not?" Sora asked, still mindlessly invested into his social media accounts.

Roxas gulped. "Look, you didn't hear this from me. If dad finds out I eavesdropped on his phone call with the Chief of Police he'll kill me." A feeling of unease settled over him. There it was again. That anxiety that constantly found its way into his body, it made his limbs itch with anticipation. Something was wrong with him. Something was definitely off, and it's not his guilt over snooping. He shrugged the feeling away as he looked at Sora, his twin felt the tension in the air and locked his phone, looking at identical blue eyes. "The body was a minor, Sora. Apparently, the medical examiner reported the kid not being any older than like 10."

"That's…. that's really fucked up? What do I do with this information?" The blond twin shrugged, indicating that he too was at a loss for words. Both sat in silence for a while, enjoying the other's company after being apart for so long. Even though Sora had been a member of Evergreen Academy's swim team since his middle school years, he had never once gone off to their summer camp till his sophomore year of high school, choosing instead to practice at the community pool with his twin in tow. The two were always inseparable, being prone to bouts of anxiety when away from the other. However, Sora had recently been taking steps to individualize himself from the other, trying his best to establish a sense of autonomy and independence from his twin. Roxas on the other hand had manifested his individuality physically, choosing instead to alter his appearance to contrast his brothers; under shaving and dyeing his curls blond, changing his wardrobe's aesthetic. But while on the surface his twin had seemingly become his own person, Sora was concerned whether Roxas was truly becoming independent. The blond had always been the introspective one, shyer, and more cautious around crowds in comparison to his brunet counterpart. In short, he was worried for his twin — scared even — especially with what had happened this past school year. He knew he couldn't be there for him all the time, and these days, Roxas seemed to become more reclusive. Sora looked away from his unpacking, watching as Roxas stared off into the space. Something was wrong with him, he could feel it. Sense it, like telepathy almost (regardless of how cliché such a connection between the two was). Lately, he felt an uneasiness in his stomach, feeling like he needed to vomit but never following through with the action.

It was disgusting.

Sora sighed and got up from his suitcases, flicking his brother on the nose to gain his attention.

"Wanna get high?"

—

Marijuana smoke filled the air as Roxas exhaled. He took in another breath, coughing, trying to clear his lungs from the strong hit he took from the bong. The pungent smell wafted through the room, sticking to fabric and hair follicles as the blond passed the device to his left grabbing the joint being given to him on his right from Hayner. The six of them — Hayner, Riku, Olette, Kairi, and the twins — were seated in Riku's basement, doing what bored high schoolers did best, get high. Due to his parents being both extreme leftists and never home, Riku's house was the optimum space for partaking in illegal activities. Not only that but, his parents grew their own strains, which they were always liberal with and never seemed to notice the missing buds the silver haired teen would take and sell around to kids at school. A bout of laughter broke the silence as the teens watched Olette move her arms in a robotic manner, she smiled and continued the motions leaning back onto the plush carpet. Her mouth moved saying something along the lines of 'food now? food yes?' and Hayner absentmindedly nodded as he lit the bong once more to take another hit.

"Dude, I'm just sayin…ducks. Are. Dicks." Sora enunciated each syllable with a hand clap, as if he was making a profound statement. Riku shook his head, annoyed. "You don't understand me. You haven't been through my trauma with the fowl." Blue eyes widened in intensity, he was dead set on making his best friend understand how detrimental ducks were to his existence. "They're ambi…ambient…ambition ….they're ambitious and willing to do anything to harm you."

"You're talking about geese! Oh my god!" Kairi screamed out, her voice lifting as though she had a revelation about their conversation. Sora 'oh'ed, eyes widening in response and started giggling, he grabbed his girlfriend by the waist, kissing her cheek as a thank you. Riku rolled his eyes, taking another drag of the joint that passed over Olette (she was too high to even protest). Roxas moved his head from side to side, feeling the effects of the numerous hits he had taken. He sat up in search of snacks and water from the refrigerator, Hayner followed. The blond side eyed his friend, reaching into fridge to get out bottled water, while Hayner opened the cupboard next to him to get two family sized bags of chips out. Hayner hadn't been the same ever since he found the body, and rightfully so. When Roxas went to check up on him a month ago, the dirty blond was distraught, shaking and jumping at every slight noise. He never did tell Roxas, or the others, why he was out there that night with Seifer, but at this point it didn't matter. Roxas was just worried about his friend.

His best friend.

They had known each other for years, he was the closest to the blond after Sora and Roxas treated him as if he were a blood relative, willing to lay his life on the line for his safety. But, that seemed to become harder now after the event, Hayner having become more recluse and unwilling to open up to his 'brother from another mother'. Today was the first time in weeks he had willingly joined their friend group for a small kickback. Roxas swallowed some water, leaning against the counter in Riku's basement. Houseception he thought, as he realized the lower level was designed to be similar to a small studio apartment, complete with a bathroom, bedroom, and small kitchen area (minus a stove or oven that is).

"Hayner." He didn't mean to call his name but, he felt it the right thing to do. Getting his friend's attention, he used his head to motion for the other teen to come beside him. The two settled themselves in the kitchen area, Hayner seated on the counter, holding the bags of chips in his legs. Cheddar onion tastes like feet though… Roxas mindlessly critiqued his friend's taste buds. "You okay man?" Hayner nodded slowly and unbelievably, his shoulders drooping as he sighed.

"I guess…" He whispered, voice hoarse. "I mean…I don't know, man. There's a lot going on." Roxas nodded, scooting over to jump on the counter next to the boy. "I don't know what to do. I keep…I don't…It just wasn't right Roxas." His voice hitched, he sniffled as he choked on his words. Roxas put his hand on his back, rubbing in a circular motion as if to say, 'I'm here for you, let it out.' He felt the dirty blond's staggered breathing under his palm, only slightly surprised to see Hayner cry. Sure, the teen wasn't known for his sensitivity, but that doesn't mean he was a sociopath. Roxas had seen Hayner cry three times in his life, this being the third. "That kid…he shouldn't have ended up like that….and the police they kept askin me to go over my statement again and again and again. I had to keep relivin it, keep seein that body, Rox. He wasn't any older than 10. He was so bloody." By now, Hayner had broken down, dropped the chips on the ground and covered his face in the nook of Roxas' neck. Hysterical sobs reverberated through the blond's body as he held his friend in his arms. The rest of the group looked on in silence, not wanting to bother the two and breach any boundaries.

There was so much Roxas wanted to ask him. Why was he out there with Seifer, the boy he loathed so much? What were the police doing with the body? Had they identified the boy yet? So much he needed to know and uncover, and with Hayner in such a vulnerable state, with him being high and emotional, it was the perfect opportunity for questions to be answered. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to ask them. Roxas rubbed his friends back again, and moved his hand up to his hair, pushing the strands from his face as Hayner straightened himself out.

"Where'd your legs go?" Roxas asked, a smirk forming on his face. Hayner sniffled, punching the blond in the arm at such a lame ass dig at his camouflage pants.

"Fuck you." Hayner chuckled out, masking his shyness about the previous situation with his brash attitude. Roxas shrugged, hopping down from the counter along with Hayner. The two made their way over to the group, revealing the chips they had originally left for. Olette's demeanor brightened as she reached for the salt and vinegar bag, her munchies finally being sated.


	2. sentimental

_Here's the second installment of this fic, sorry it took so long~ If you enjoy it, please leave reviews, keeps me motivated, lol_

 _Synopsis: At some point you're gonna have to break your own rose tinted glasses and face the facts: 1) life has no guaranteed happy ending, 2) no one will save you from your problems and 3) maybe that person you made out with during Fear Pong isn't prince charming but hey, he's not a total dick and that's close enough for you._

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 ** _Chapter 2: sentimental_**

 ** _sometimes you just wanna get sentimental, others just want you to shut up._**

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 _Second week of September 2018 (Wednesday)_

News about the homicide diminished in popularity by the time classes started. At first there was talk about setting a curfew for the youth of the Hollow Bastion, but, since the murder seemed to be an isolated event, the mayor nor the police deemed it fit. Soon, the event was only paid attention to in casual updates between adults, and replaced with school related chatter by students. Even the elementary children got over their initial fear of the crime scene area, and two weeks into the school year, they were frolicking on the playground equipment as if it were brand new (which the merry-go-round was. The neighborhood parents didn't want their children playing on it since it was close to the body). By the second week, Roxas and Sora had grown accustomed to their schedule as juniors, and their after-school activities had begun, Sora with his swimming, Roxas with his Art Club, and both with their SAT preparation course.

Everything was setting up to be the same as the year before.

Which meant Riku's party was underway.

Each year, Riku threw a massive "Back to school bash, that's totally bonkers", as the silver haired teen stated, and each year the celebration was more elaborate than the last. Like clockwork, Riku's parents were gone until early October each Summer since the eighth grade and he was left home alone. He never intended for the party to get as big as it did in the last two years, but teenaged stoners have big mouths and next thing he knew he was one of the most popular kids at Hollow Bastion Academy; partly for his wealth, mainly for his lax parental supervision, and definitely for his weed. A ring disrupted said silver haired teen's focus on the road and soon he paid attention to his phone as he drove into the parking lot of the high school. Turning the engine off, he sat back in his seat, reading Sora's text to meet him and the rest of the group by the track before the first bell. Smiling, he finished off his blunt, inhaling sharply before leaving to meet up with his friends.

"Dude. Your eyes are so red. This is a drug free zone, I can't believe you would partake in the Devil's Lettuce on the day of our Lord and Sav-"

"I have edibles." Sora shut his mouth, his hand reaching out for the promised food. He held the baggy in front of Roxas's face.

"Look, it satisfies both our needs. My hunger, your sobriety." The blond rolled his eyes, and took pieces of the brownie after his brother and passed the plastic bag to Hayner. The five of them sat on the bleachers, watching Kairi instruct the color guard team. She stood in front of four rows of four, hand on her hip, the other holding her rifle as she counted off by 8's. Twelve other girls and four boys did drop spins in front of her, all in sync. Sora chuckled as Riku placed him on his lap.

"So, my party…" All of them perked up, Olette even putting her phone down to pay better attention. "Ya'll are all invited, worm, of course. But, like…does anyone have a ping pong table?" Sora shook his head as he poured the rest of the brownie crumbs into his mouth and Roxas shrugged as he laid himself down on the bench, closing his eyes as though he was about to sleep.

"I just wanna play beer pong." Riku added, frowning as he held Sora tighter. The brunette patted his friend's head, nodding in understanding. They sat there for a while longer, watching the color guard do pull hit tosses. Hayner took a bag of tater tots from his backpack, sending them around the group.

"One, two, three, and toss! Again! One, two, three, and toss!" Kairi clapped along to the beat, keeping the group in time.

"Come on everybody, tight toss, strong catch!" She yelled. Sora looked on, enamored. He tightened his hold on Riku's shoulders as he began another 'my girlfriend is so cool, so strong, so beautiful' rant. Riku rolled his eyes, watching as his best friend bounced on his lap with excitement about how 'blessed he was to be dating someone as boss as Kairi'. Roxas chuckled at his twin, Sora had always been obsessed with Kairi Bacchieri ever since she had moved into their neighborhood. At the age of five he proclaimed he would marry her, thirteen they shared their first kiss (it was actually his second, but he doesn't count spin the bottle), and now at sixteen they finally started dating. The blond was happy for his brother, if only a little annoyed by his constant praise of her. He snacked on another tater tot, passing the bag to Olette, as he sat up.

"Look, Sor, we all love Kairi, she's amazing, iconic, a force to be reckoned with." The group all made noises of agreement, nodding their heads at Roxas's statement. "But, I think we should talk about something else, you know like…anything else."

"Yeah," Riku began, "like if any of you guys have a fucking ping pong table." Sora silently popped a tater tot into his mouth as he looked away from his friend. After none of them admitted to having one, they all decided Riku would just have to borrow one from someone else for a good amount of weed at a discounted price. The group took their cue to leave when the color guard started packing up their equipment, making plans to meet up during their lunch period.

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After first period calculus, Roxas made his way to his locker, eyes glazed as he moved his head side to side. He felt wavy, his body reverberating, only slightly regretting eating such a big portion of Riku's edibles. He sighed, surprisingly louder than he anticipated from the looks he got from his peers, as he tried for a third time to open his locker. Which it didn't. He jiggled the lock, frustrated, and banged his foot against the metal.

"Whoever coined 'third times the charm' is a fucking dick and a fucking liar." He angrily whispered while glaring.

"Maybe…chill?"

"Maybe…no? This fucking lock won't open? I don't have to chill. All I want is to get my damn English shit out of this damn locker but it won't unlock?! Like, I put the combo in three times. Third times the charm, right? I did it three times, so where's the charm? 14-28-10…. what is this bullshit?!"

"Do you want me to help?" Roxas blinked and looked up, realizing he had been ranting at a stranger. "I mean, I can try if you want? You're not having any luck so I'll take a swing at it." The mystery teen suggested as he leaned against the lockers next to the blond. Roxas shrugged and stepped away from his locker, making room for the other. The stranger pulled his red hair into a low pony tail and leaned down, his height obscuring his sight from the lock.

"Okay, run the combo by me again?"

"14-28-10."

The red headed stranger began spinning the knob, whispering the numbers to himself as he turned it right, left, and then right again, unlocking it in one go.

"Voilà! Done and done." He gave Roxas his lock and opened up the door. The blond sighed out a thank you and proceeded to stuff his calculus book into his locker and take out the materials he needed for his next two periods, finally letting his body relax.

"Thanks again, man." Roxas added as he put on his backpack, his high hitting him again now that the stress of his locker situation was alleviated. "You're like really tall." Red headed stranger chuckled, his baritone laughter hitting Roxas's ears clearly. It made Roxas smile. "No, like seriously, how tall _are_ you?!"

"Six feet and a whopping five inches." Roxas's eyes widened as he looked up and down at the taller teen.

"I can't believe you exist! Like, you're that tall? And like, alive?!"

"Unfortunately."

"Holy fyuck!"

"Fyuck?"

"Yeah, like Goofy's 'hyuck!' but fuck. Fyuck." Red headed stranger squinted his eyes down at the shorter boy. He nodded slowly, noting Roxas's red eyes.

"Go off." He stated, hands on his hip, still smiling. And then the bell rang.

"Welp, I gotta get going!" Roxas exclaimed, as he finger gunned at the taller teen. Red headed stranger laughed and shook his head, giving Roxas a peace sign. "See you, Knuckles!"

"I am not an echidna!" He yelled back.

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"Okay, I have like four people who are willing to barter for the use of their ping pong tables." Riku said as he sat down to their lunch table. Roxas looked up, chewing on his pizza and Sora high fived the silver haired teen. Riku sat down next to the brunet, and began opening his pudding cup. "But like, two want a fourth for only S10."

"Fuck those two. What about the others?" Sora asked with his mouth full of pizza. Roxas flicked his brother on the nose for talking with his food in his mouth, 'That's nasty.' he mouthed to the other teen.

"Lavender says she'll let us borrow the table if we give her three blunts, pre-rolled for $10. And the second person is Seifer, who said he'd do it for free as long as we let him make the jungle juice at the party."

"Go for Lavender, fuck Seifer." The group agreed, all chiming in with a 'Yeah, fuck Seifer.'

"He's not that bad, you guys." Everyone turned to stare at Hayner. Olette snorted.

"Not that bad? He's a total dick." She stated, sipping on her ginger ale. "He's the worst person in our grade. I mean, look at him." She added on, pointing to his table across the lunch room.

"Dude. He's eating an apple." Hayner retaliated, as he rolled his eyes at his sister.

"With a knife." Kairi brought up. The seven teens stared at Seifer Almasy as he sliced pieces of his apple with a knife and popped them in his mouth. His two friends Fujin, Fuu for short, and Rai, just Rai, sat across from him. All eyes quickly looked away when Seifer looked up, however, feeling the stares on his body. Roxas eyed his best friend. Ever since that night, he had been unusually protective of Seifer, a person he had notably disliked for years. The switch in their relationship was strange, even last night he saw Hayner chatting amicably with Seifer outside of the Acme by their neighborhood. No longer did Hayner want to spar with him during their taekwondo practices, a time he took advantage of to have a fair fight with the bigger teen, instead he just offered to stretch with him. The blond wanted to ask him about it, figure out why the two were together that night, figure out how they became civil to each other. But, any time he got the chance to bring up the topic, Hayner skillfully avoided it. Roxas didn't want to push, though, he knew that night was sensitive for his friend, and he didn't want to put him on the spot.

Pence Maddox broke Roxas's train of thought with his choking. Olette patted her boyfriend's back, giggling as he coughed a bit and chugged water to get his breathing back to normal. Roxas smiled at the couple, and took another bite of his lunch.

"So, Seifer or Lavender?" Sora asked. "On one hand, Lavender is cute, sweet, and willing to go along with the original deal."

"And on the other, Seifer." Roxas rationalized. The group, minus Hayner, simultaneously pursed their lips, realizing the situation they may be put in if they didn't choose Seifer. While the beanie wearing teen may not have a problem with Hayner anymore, that didn't mean the rest of them were safe from his wrath. He was a black belt in taekwondo, sold hard drugs, probably had a weapons collection, and spoke with a blaccent.

None of them wanted to deal with that.

Riku licked his lips and nodded.

"So, Seifer." He stated.

"Seifer." Five agreed in unison. Riku nodded once more before slamming his hands on the table and standing up.

"Might as well get it over with, woop." Hayner looked down at the table while the rest of them looked on at Riku making his way over to Seifer's table. The interaction between them went by pretty quickly as Riku made numerous hand gestures, and Seifer simply continued slicing his apple. At one point the situation looked like it was going to take a turn for the worse, Seifer had stabbed his knife into a twinkie. But, alas, he chuckled after doing so, showing that nothing bad was about to happen to the other Junior. After another thirty seconds, the two teens shook hands and Riku finger gunned at Fuu and Rai before leaving the area. Riku had an idiotic grin on his face as he walked back to the table, both his thumbs up and tongue out.

"I missed when you were, like, in your emo phase. You were all broody and quiet." Kairi joked while Sora put his arm around her shoulder, laughing alongside her. "You were much more tolerable then, now you're just a goof." She stated. Riku rolled his eyes and sat back down.

"I wasn't 'tolerable', I was just some edgy emo kid who listened to Blood on the Dance Floor but like… ironically." Roxas gagged jokingly and checked the time on his phone.

"It was _not_ ironic." Riku glared at Sora for the remark, and Roxas got up from the table chuckling, he wanted to get to his AP Chemistry lab before all the good Bunsen burners were taken. Bidding his friends farewell, he threw his trash away and left, making his way to the second floor of Hollow Bastion Academy. It was only two weeks into the school year and he was already done, especially with AP courses. He was tired, and he still had another year of this to go? That was unbelievable. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to go into a science career anyhow, he was only doing this for the credits it would give him on his transcripts to college. What was the point of busting his ass with more school work for something he most likely would not be pursuing in the very near future? There was no point. But then again, his high was coming down and he was sobering up, so this existential crisis was probably just a side effect.

 _ **Anywhozzle...**_ he thought to himself as he entered Dr. Vexen Jart's class, greeting his teacher and grabbing a Bunsen burner off the table in the back. Dr. Jart smiled at Roxas, and took his glasses off as he made his way over to the teen. Despite what the other students said about him, Roxas never thought of the chemist as 'cold', he was just more reserved than the rest of the teachers at their academy, a trait he never thought he'd appreciate. However, a lot of the faculty and administration were surprisingly open to the students and sometimes a teenager didn't want to hear about his English teacher's boyfriend anymore. Sure, he was a bit odd with his corny jokes, strangely long platinum blond hair, and the fact that even though his demeanor screamed 'conservative' he was actually pretty much a hippy, but overall, he was a good person to converse with. Roxas had cultivated a nice friendship with the academic over the course of his three years at the Academy, finding him easily to confide in, more so than the actual school counselor. Ever since the beginning of his freshmen year when he had joined the Art Club and found out his general science teacher, Vexen Jart, was the faculty advisor, they had grown on each other and formed a bond.

"I see you're here early yet again, Mr. Kim-Ambrose."

"Yep, can't keep me away, I guess." The chemist chuckled at the sentiment, pulling up a chair next to his student. "But, I'm really here to get the good Bunsen burner." Roxas admitted.

"Ah, I see. You should be relieved to know I asked to get better supplies for this semester." Vexen said as he took hold of the burner into his hands. He flipped it around a bit before putting it back down. "They should be coming in the upcoming week. But besides that, how are you doing?" Roxas shifted in his seat.

"Pretty good, I guess? Not much to say, the school year just started so…."

"Roxas." Vexen gave him a stern look.

"I'm feeling okay. Nothing bad is going on right now, don't worry about me." The younger blond smiled, running a hand through his curls. Vexen smiled at his mentee before getting up.

"Well, just know I'm always here to help you." He stated and Roxas nodded in understanding as the bell rang and students began filing into the classroom.

"Hey, Roxas!" Roxas looked over at his lab partner, Lavender.

"Hey, you ready for some experimentin'?" He joked in a southern tang. Blushing, Lavender giggled and sat down next to Roxas. "I snagged us the good burner, by the way."

"Oh sweet! The other ones always lag." She stated as she began to put together their equipment. "By the way, Roxas, did Riku mention to you the ping pong table deal? I know you and your twin hang out with him a lot, right?" Roxas looked away, not wanting to tell the girl about their decision to take Seifer's table instead.

"No," He said, like a liar, "I haven't heard anything about that…but I'll keep you posted." He answered. The purple haired girl was pleased with his answer and didn't push for any elaboration. When Dr. Jart took his place at the front of the classroom, the two finished any conversation and listened to him explain their upcoming project.

 _00000000000000000000000_

 _Second week of September 2018 (Thursday)_

Roxas found himself in the 7/11 too often. Most of his summer he was either skating in the parking lot, smashing fluorescent tubes with Hayner, or stealing snacks. He should be a rewards member. Or at least, get a job there. And now, here he was again, in the 7/11 with Hayner. After their club activities, the two of them had gone to the park to skate around a bit, as Hayner suggested. When it hit 7pm, they realized how hungry they were and decided to make a stop at 'ole faithful', 7/11.

Roxas stood in the snack aisle, nursing a large cherry slurpee, watching as Hayner stuffed his bag with various chips. Sipping, he eyed the refrigerators, debating on whether he should buy an energy drink. Hayner looked up, making sure the cashier and clerks weren't looking as he stayed in the blind spot of the cameras and the surveillance mirror. Even though he worked there, Hayner was always ready to take advantage of his employment at the store. How his boss never realized, or even fired him for the amount of shifts he walked out on was a mystery. The blond never understood why his friend always shoplifted from his place of work, not like he didn't have the money to buy better food, not like he didn't get a discount working there. He sighed and scrutinized his reflection in the fridge door while he pulled at his curls.

"Maybe I should get a fade?" He questioned aloud, wondering if he would look better with an undercut. Hayner closed his bag, situating it on his back, as he motioned that he was done. Roxas grabbed an energy drink and quickly paid to draw suspicion from his best friend. As the two walked out of the convenience store, grabbing their skateboards from the entrance, Hayner pulled on one of Roxas's curls.

"Do you not like your afro?" He asked as they made their way back to the park. "It's nice dude, like…I'm not Black but like, I think for a 'fro it's pretty good, right?" The taller teen questioned. Roxas chuckled, scratching at his head.

"I guess…I have like 3b, 3cish hair, so the curls are pretty loose…" He started, pulling on yet another curl to show his friend the texture. "But like, I don't know? Does it look wild? It's grown pretty long so it looks kinda weird on me. I feel like since I'm mixed my hair can't decide if it's Korean or Black." The two stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the chance to run across the street. Roxas hit the button, hoping it would make the light change faster. The streetlights had begun to come on, and as he looked up he noticed the sky beginning to darken.

"Shit, man what time is it?"

"It's like…hold on, lemme check my phone. Yeah, it's like 7:30 almost." Roxas nodded, making a mental note to get home by at least 8:30. After the crosswalk finally allowed them to move forward, the two got a running start and began riding their skateboards the short distance to the park. Roxas weaved between safety cones, making his way to the swing set on the blacktop. Both teens sat down next to each other, Hayner choosing to actually swing while Roxas dragged his feet against the asphalt. It had been awhile since the two had been able to enjoy some alone time together. When Hayner had met up with the blond after his Art Club meeting, still sweaty in his taekwondo uniform, Roxas thought something bad had happened. But, to his surprise, Hayner wanted to spend time with him, and had skated all the way back to their school just to see him, without changing. He looked over at him, realizing he had gain a good amount of height on the playground equipment.

"Why'd you want to hang?" He asked. Sure, hanging with his friend was always fun but, the fact that he didn't bother to change out of his taekwondo uniform and seemed to have a sense of urgency when inviting him out made him concerned.

"Can't a guy wanna hang with his friend? You know, just a couple of dudes being guys. Couple of guys being gay?" He joked, quoting one of their favorite vines.

"Hayner." Hayner stopped pumping his legs, letting the swing slowly squeak to a halt. He sighed, leaning over to grab Roxas's slurpee. He fiddled with the straw, rubbing it against the lid to make a squeaking sound. "I appreciate you wanting to hang, and we _can_ hang, of course. But the way you asked to hang was just…not like normal, you know?"

"I know."

"So, what's up?" Roxas asked while he grabbed his slurpee back. He pulled his phone out to check the time again, 7:56 _._ Hayner sighed loudly, and clicked his tongue.

"I mean, it's nothing too urgent? I'm just worried about you is all…" He started, looking down at the pavement. Roxas 'ahh'ed in understanding and nodded. "You've seemed distant lately? And like, really quiet too...more quiet than usual, that is."

"Don't be worried. Trust me, man. I'm fi-"

"But, you're not. You're not as…you're not there anymore, Rox."

"I'm still here. I just changed. People change when shit gets tough."

"Shit didn't just get tough. You know it's more than that." Roxas furrowed his eyebrows. "Rox, don't try to sugarcoat your problems. You can't just keep that shit bottled up."

"You know what, that's rich. That's _real_ rich, coming from you. Telling me not to keep things bottled up when you won't tell me anything about that night." The blond retorted as he sat up from the swing, walking around the pavement and began collecting his things. "And that's just it. They're _my_ problems. It's _my_ shit. Not yours."

"So, what? I'm not supposed to care?" Hayner asked. Throwing the slurpee down and grabbing Roxas by the shoulder. The two stood in front of each other, the squeaking swing set breaking the silence.

"I never said that."

"You implied it." Roxas groaned and jerked his shoulder away. He didn't want to deal with this. At least not right now. Things were getting back to normal and his anxiety from the summer was finally relaxing. He just wanted to go back to normal. Have things reset to before, be able to exist without people walking on eggshells around him. He watched as Hayner went to grab his things as well. Walking over, he called out to him.

"Look man, you know I didn't mean it that way. I know you care. I'm glad you care. Look, I love you." Hayner sat up from stuffing the chips back into his bag.

"Then talk to me." He said, pulling Roxas into a hug. The boy was so much smaller than him, his hair only slightly brushing the underneath of his chin. Hayner always felt such love for him, and now feeling his tiny frame in his arms he realized how much he wanted to protect him. Both had been best friends since pre-school, 'seemed like destiny' as his mother told him. Even Roxas's mother had playfully said they would one day get married, which both he and Roxas very much disagreed to. Regardless, he would always be there for the smaller teen, even when he was being stubborn.

"I just, I don't think it's that big of a deal…" Roxas started.

"Not a big deal?" Hayner pushed the blond out of his arms. "You're kidding, right. You're fucking kidding."

"I meant that, it's over so there's no reason to worry anymore, everything's fine."

"Everything's not fine."

"Everything _is_ fi-"

"You almost died!"

"And you saw dead kid." Roxas stated. "We both have shit we don't wanna bring up." He began walking away from the swing set. It was almost 8:30 and he did not want to be lectured about opening up by a hypocrite. Once again, Hayner grabbed his best friend's shoulder to stop him from getting any further away from him. "Hayn, let go."

"Look, we haven't been talking to each other like we used to...we're both to blame." Roxas took a deep breath at Hayner's words, knowing he was right. "And maybe, we're both not ready to talk about our shit."

"You're right. I'm not." Roxas agreed. "Can we just get back…promised my mom I'd be back before 9. We can continue this tomorrow, I just don't wanna think about it right now."

"Fine. I still love you though." Hayner reminded him, ruffling his hair.

"Oh my god, you're like Sora. But, I love you too, man." Hayner laughed loudly, and wrapped an arm around Roxas's shoulder.

"Let's go, before Sybil freaks."

"Please don't call my mom by her first name."

 _00000000000000000000000_

The two made their way back to their neighborhood, deciding to drop any heavy issues plaguing them and instead choosing to have mindless conversations about literally anything else. Roxas appreciated the simplicity and hugged Hayner again before leaving for his home, both teens promising to meet up to skateboard to school together. Walking through his front door, Roxas was hit with the smell of soul food and made his way straight to the kitchen, seeing his mom finish up a batch of fried chicken and collard greens. He slinked his way next to his mother, mouth smirking as he slowly tried to grab a piece of meat.

Only to be whacked by a brown hand.

"Mom!"

"You're late. Plus, these are for tomorrow.

"I'm not even late, it's on the dot!"

"…. Mhmm…maybe so, but I'm going by my stove clock, and stove clock says 9:30." Roxas rolled his eyes, and whispered 'going by my stove clock', under his breath, slightly mocking his mother's southern accent at the same time. Begrudgingly, he made his way upstairs to his bedroom, texting back Olette on his phone that, yes, he was safe, and yes, so was Hayner. Finally sitting on his bed, Sora poked his head through, a smile on his face.

"Dude, guess what." The brunet encouraged, shuffling his way into Roxas's room. He had on nothing but boxers with ghosts on them, and danced his way over to the blond's desk, sitting himself on the oak wood table. Sora began to milly rock, waiting for his twin to start guessing. As the blond ignored him, Sora continued to dance on the desk, making a point to highlight his boxers as he continued to jiggle. Roxas continued to take his textbooks and laptop of his backpack, and began to work on his homework for the night. Sora pouted, jerking the desk back and forth to get his brother's attention. Sighing, Roxas stopped typing, giving his brother his answer.

"You got new boxers."

"Yeah, I did! Now look!" Sora turned off the desk lamp, and jumped off the desk, dancing around even more, making a half-assed attempt at twerking. "They glow in the dark!" He exclaimed. Roxas smiled, happy to see his twin excited about something so small. "I got you a pair too!" He yelled, turning the light back on and running out and back from his room with a package. "Yours has aliens on them!"

"Noice." Roxas stated, catching the boxers after Sora threw the plastic package at him. The two twins sat on the bed together, Sora on his phone, Roxas finishing up his English and AP Chemistry homework. Their silence was interjected periodically from Sora's narration of his Twitter feed, and different vines he would show his brother. Roxas found the tweet about sucking a dick for the Amtrak especially hilarious as he found himself almost falling off the bed from the power of his laughter. A chime disturbed the two and the blond twin reached over for his phone on his nightstand. His text tone went off five more times, the phone repeatedly vibrating in his hands. Sora chuckled at the urgency of the sender.

"Who the fuck is texting you like that?" The brunet laughed out, looking over his brother's shoulders. Roxas shrugged, the text messages were coming from a random number and not one of the saved ones in his contacts. He scrolled through them, trying to figure out if it was one of his friends who had gotten a new number.

' **It's me. Please talk to me.'**

' **Roxas, we need to talk.'**

' **I need you.'**

' **I need you to talk to me. Come on, please just text me back.'**

' **I know you're reading these.'**

His eyes widened at the final text and he felt his chest tighten as his breath hitched. Sora gripped his shoulder.

' **Starlight, please.'**

"Who the _fuck_ gave him my number!?" Roxas shouted, throwing his phone on the floor. He looked over at Sora, giving his twin an accusatory look while he stood up from his bed. He rubbed his face and took a deep breath. Roxas then began pacing, thinking over the list of people who would do this to him. **_Kairi? No_** _ **. Riku? Of course not. Hayner? Definitely not. Then who? Who? Who!?**_ He really didn't need this. First, Hayner being sentimental and trying to get him to open up and now _this?_ He needed calm, simplicity, normalcy. He wanted to go back to the beginning, restart and this wasn't helping. He felt like he was gonna pass out, this was all too much, too much, too soon and too fast.

"Sora? Roxas? What's going on up there?" Their mother yelled from the kitchen. Sora bit his lips, deciding not to tell his mother about Roxas, knowing his twin wouldn't want to worry her.

"Everything's fine, mom! We're just playing a game!" The brunet called down. He ran over to his brother, grabbing his shoulders, trying to get him to relax. If he didn't stop his pacing now, he wouldn't be able to calm him down. "Rox. Rox! You gotta calm down."

"I have to change my number. Again." Sora moved his hands to his brother's face. Wiping away a tear, he pulled his brother in, rubbing his back and calming him down.

"No, no you don't." He led the teen over to the bed, sitting him down. Sora kneeled in front of him, picking up his brother's phone at the same time. "Look, you can just block the number, Rox. It's all gonna be fine." He said, trying his best to bring optimism into the situation.

"I did that last time and he just got a new number! H-How did he get my new one!? Who gave him my number, Sor!?" He screamed, snatching the phone from his brother's hand. He scrolled through the texts again, eyes wide as he reread them. He was getting worked up again, he could feel his breathing speeding up, his heart beating faster and his palms sweating. He wanted to throw up, his throat was closing up and he was hyperventilating. Roxas took the water bottle Sora offered him, and took a swig. He couldn't deal with this. He shut his eyes and tried to slow his breath. Sora jumped up and began petting his brother's curls, hoping the light touch would help his panic attack. Roxas began a mantra, whispering 'what am I gonna do, what am I gonna do, what am I gonna do?', under his breath. He hadn't been like this in so long, Sora was shocked, scared, confused, he didn't know what to do. It's been ages since his brother had an attack like this.

"Rox, you're gonna be fine. For now, let's delete the messages, block the number, and just relax, okay?" He whispered, sitting down next to his brother and rubbing his back. Roxas gulped, nodded, and gave Sora his phone. He didn't want the phone in his hands anymore, didn't want the chance to work up the courage to text back, didn't want to reread that fucking word.

Starlight.

Starlight.

He knew just from that cliché nickname who was texting him. He didn't need this. He didn't need this. He didn't need this. He's gonna be okay. He's gonna forget, gonna ignore. He's gonna be fine. He's gonna stay alive. He's fine. He's fine. He's f-

"I'm fine." He said, blinking away the grogginess that came with crying. Sora looked up from blocking the number, surprised by Roxas's sudden declaration.

"Y-You sure?"

"I'm sure." Sora sighed.

"Look, I didn't give him your number, and I'm sure none of our friends did either…" Roxas nodded, agreeing with his twin. "But, we're gonna worry about how he got it later, is that all good?" The blond nodded again. He took a deep breath and laid down on his bed, Sora doing the same. The two intertwined their fingers, and Roxas laid his head on his brother's shoulder. Both sighed together. Sora brought his free hand up to his brother's head, patting his hair down whilst pulling the younger twin closer.

"At least Riku's party is tomorrow, you can just chill." Roxas nodded, and moved his head further into the crook of his brother's neck. Sora sighed, rubbing his brother's back once more.

"It's gonna get better." He promised, and Roxas sniffled.

"Yeah, I know."


End file.
